I miss youu..


Nothing stopped when she left the world. I am sitting at the exact same place where she spent her last days. Today, I cannot find any trace of her here except my memory of seeing her here. When she left, we cried. Everyone had tears in their eyes, but after some time, everyone at home had something to do, i.e. calling relatives to inform them about the death, clearing the space at home to arrange for the guests who were to arrive shortly, clearing the room to put the dead body for the night and to check the food in the kitchen for the guests. Tears were wiped shortly because there was no room for them. Life continued right after she took her last breath. Nothing changed in the world apparently, especially from a distance. If someone new to watch the surrounding of this house after a few hours, that person would probably not know that we are mourning because we are not given the time to mourn. Perhaps no one is given the time to mourn because life never stops for anyone. You have thousands of responsibilities to take care of even if you lose the most precious person in your life. A person from a distance would only see busy people doing their tasks but would not be able to see the hole left in the heart or the void in the life of someone who just lost their beloved one. I am not complaining because that is how it is, and maybe that is how it is supposed to be. It is a reminder for everyone to see the reality of their life. Within a second, a living person can be declared dead, and within a second, life moves on. It has been ten days since she left, and all I can feel is how I will not be able to hear her giving lots of duas to me and lots of love to me. She was someone who always knew what I was going through and would help me calm down in those troubling times. She was someone who knew what I needed the most. She was someone who did not talk much but had expressing eyes waiting to meet her Lord. She was someone who could hear even when no one spoke. She had a gift of knowing, and she was a gift to us, which maybe we could not realize before. She had unconditional love for me, and I will miss that forever. I miss you Nani Maa.

August 10th, 2022.

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